Life Can Only Go Downhill From Here
by LonelyFishy
Summary: [sasusaku AU school fic] All Uchiha Sasuke wanted was rice… Instead, he got stuck with a hyperactive pink haired girl with a large forehead who didn’t know what personal space meant… Why couldn’t just one stinking day go the way he wanted?
1. Chapter 1

_**Life Can Only Go Downhill From Here**_

**by LonelyFish**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, only the genius author Masashi Kishimoto owns it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All Uchiha Sasuke wanted was rice… Fucking rice… But no… Instead, he got stuck with a hyperactive pink haired girl with a large forehead who didn't know what « personal space » meant… Why couldn't just one stinking day go the way he wanted? Was it too much to ask for?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**Chapter 1: **_

_**Arrival! The new girl likes plums and hates spicy stuff but who cares!**_

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It all started when Uchiha Sasuke, a 16 year old who was way to sexy for his own good, woke up. He got washed, dressed and then headed to the kitchen. He started to make his breakfast but then noticed that he was out of rice.

« Damn… I'm going to be late… » Sasuke muttered as he walked to the hallway to go out for some rice.

He got a jacket and his keys, then sat down to put his shoes on. « Damn it, why must Itachi be out early today of all days? » he muttered « University students have it so easy…I bet he's somewhere with his gang of freaks… »

Sasuke got out of the flat he was sharing with Itachi and noticed someone. He was about to tell that person to get lost when…

« Be my boyfriend! » she yelled, her arms wide open as if expecting him to hug her…

Psh… Uchiha Sasuke, hug someone? Yeah right…

He turned around to leave when the strange girl talked… Again…

« I'm new here! I like plums! Do you like plums? I hate stuff that's too spicy? Do you like spicy stuff? » the girl was, it seemed, very talkative. She was blabbering non-stop. Did she even stop to breathe?

« Look, I couldn't care less whether you're new here or you like plums but not spicy stuff, so get lost! » he said coldly, adding a glare, hoping the girl would get the hint.

« But.. » she started

« Whatever, » he said and left.

When he arrived at the convenience store (1), he headed straight to the rice, took a pack, turned around and saw her.. Again…Was she stalking him?

« Hello again! What are you here for? I'm buying some rice! Oooh! You too! What a coincidence! »she blabbed .

Coincidence? Yeah right… If this was a coincidence, then Sasuke would be happy to eat his socks…

Sasuke turned around, ignoring her, to go pay. There was quite a queue even though it was only 8 o'clock. Sadly, the weird girl was behind him. Sasuke used all of his self-restraint not to hit his head against a wall.

« Hi! You 're only buying rice? I'm also buying plums and sea urchins to make a unidon (2) with plums! » she exclaimed, rather happily.

When it was finally Sasuke's turn to pay, he was on the brink of running away without paying.

« 590 yen, please (3),» said the cashier.

As soon as he payed and was handed the rice, he ran off as fast as it was humanly possible.

When Sasuke arrived home, he wasn't hungry anymore so he just packed himself a bento (4), changed into his uniform, brushed his teeth and went off to school..

It was only the past eight when he reached school. He went to the shoe lockers, opened his, took his shoes off, took his slippers out and put them on, put his shoes in the locker and walked slowly to his classroom.When he reached the room 1-6, he slid the door open and greated the few other classmates rather simply ,« Yo… », and walked to his designated desl, the one at the back of row next to the window. The best spot in the whole room, he thought as he sat down. A few minutes later, classmates started arriving. One of them had blond hair and was hard to miss in the crowd of black haired people.

« Yo, Sasuke! »he said

« Naruto, » he greeted and nodded his slightly.

« So, did you hear the rumor? »Naruto asked, casually

« Rumor? What rumor? Is it the one about Tamura and Shirogawa? » Sasuke enquired

« Not, that one's already a week old! »Naruto replied

« So, what is it? It can't be a transfer student, school only started three weeks ago! »

« Actually, it is a transfer student! Are you psychic or something? Anyway, the rumor says it's a girl! A girl, Sasuke! »Naruto exclaimed

« Yes, very nice. Now stop sputtering and get off my desk… » Sasuke answered

« You're so cold, Sasu-chan! »Naruto snickered

« Shut up, dead last… » Sasuke retorted

Naruto was about to retort something when the bell rang and the teacher came in.

« Sit down, you morons, » said the teacher casually, as if it were normal to talk like that to students.

Naruto sat down, his desk being right in front of Sasuke's

« I've got a surprise for you, even though you don't deserve it! I've managed to fling the new student into this class! Don't go thinking that it's just because the class' average mark is lower than the othet classes!

« So that's why… »thought the students

« Anyway, class, meet Haruno Sakura! She changed schools at the beginning of the year, even though it's very awkward and annoying since I now have to remember her name! But that's beside the point! She changed schools for family reasons! »'said the teacher as the new student entered the room.

« So…Let's see now… Where are you going to sit? Ah! There's a free desk next to Uchiha! »she exclaimed « Uchiha! Raise your hand so the new girl knows where to sit! »

Sasuke was, up until then, looking out of the window. He slowly turned his head and recognized the new student as being the annoying pink-haired girl. Half of his mind was screaming »Screw this! Jump out of the window! Anything is better than this! Jump out! » but he raised his hand instead and turned his attention back to the window and the wonders of the outside world and the freedom it promised. The girl seemed to have recognized him too and said « I'm sorry about this morning, Uchiha-san. I suppose I'm always over-excited when I arrive at a new town. I hope you don't hate me for what happened this morning. »

She sat down, but almost immediately got up again. »Sensei! I haven't received my books yet, what should I do, »she asked

« Yes.. Why don't you follow with Uchiha until you receive them? » the teacher proposed

« Okay! » She sat down and turned to Sasuke « I hope you don't mind, Uchiha-san… »

« Hm… Move your desk closer, I'm not moving… »Sasuke replied

« Okay! » The transfer smiled and moved her desk closer to his

« All this just because of rice… The gods must really be having a blast up there, » thought Sasuke while he explained things to the transfer.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(1)convenience store: in Japan, those stores have nearly everything, ranging from sunglasses to socks, and are open 24/7

(2)unidon: Japanese dish, made with rice and a layer of sea urchins

(3)590 yen: I have no idea what rice really costs in Japan

(4)bento:that's what Japanese usually eat when they're at work or at school. It's usually made of leftovers from dinner.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So what did you think of this first chapter? Like it? Hate it? Please tell me in your review…

My original idea for this fanfic was « Naruto, Pita Ten style » but my brain just planned it differently.

I'm also hoping to include pairings. If I do, the pairings will be sasusaku, naruhina, nejiten and shikaino.


	2. Chapter 2

Second chapter! I dedicate this chapter to my first reviewer DemonessHaya!

Even though I said in my profile I said I wasn't updating until the summer holidays, I got bored in class and started writing this chapter… I don't know how but neither my French, history nor English teacher caught me….

In last chapter, I said that Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were in class 1-6. I decided to change there class to class 1-7; it fits better with the story!

Anyway, on with the story!

Disclaimer: I wish I could own Naruto… Sadly, I don't and I never will…

« So that's why it's x10 and not x6, got it? »

« Um… Yes! I get it! »

« Good… »

Sasuke was explaining to Sakura what his class started studying, though reluctantly… The teacher had her way with blackmail…

Just then, the bell rang, interrupting Sasuke's train of thoughts. As soon as the teacher walked out of the classroom, Naruto turned round to face Sasuke and Sakura.

« Hi! I'm Uzumaki Naruto! Nice to meet you, Sakura-chan! »

Naruto, the last true dense guy in the whole world! This might take a while, please wait!

« Um… » Sakura didn't know what to say. This guy was really rude, calling her by her first name AND adding chan! « Hi? »

« No, no, no! »Naruto exclaimed «We're all in high school now! No need to be shy! »

« … » Who was this guy? He was talking to her as if she was a guy! So rude!

« Anyway, wanna eat lunch with us? The whole gang will be there! Come on, join… »

Naruto was about to continue, if it wasn't for Sasuke punching him.

« Sasuke, you bastard! » Naruto rose from his chair, « What the hell did you do that for! »

« Idiot, stop being so rude to her! »

« I wasn't being rude! I was only being friendly with the newest addition to our class! » Naruto spat « There's a difference! Just because you have the emotional capacity of a computer chip and can't understand this doesn't mean you HAD to punch me, you bastard! »

Sasuke blinked. Since when did the idiot know words like that?

« Ha! So true you can't answer, Sasu-chan? »

« No, I was just momentarily taken aback by your choice of words… I didn't know you could seem intelligent… » Sasuke answered

« Um… Don't fight? » Sakura finally said.

« Ah! Sakura-chan! Sorry about that! Anyway, let's go! » Naruto said, grabbing her hand and dragging her off to the rooftop « I'm sure the others will like you! »

« W… Wait! What about Sasuke-san? »

« What about him? He knows the way! He's a big boy! »

Sakura sweat dropped and started running with Naruto, after getting her lunch.

As soon as they reached the roof, the first thing Sakura thought was « Wow, that's a big group! » Indeed, there were at least 10 rather odd-looking teenagers.

« Hi guys! »Naruto greeted, « Guys, meet Sakura-chan! She's the transfer I've told you guys about! »

« Naruto ,»a voice piped up « Should you really call her by her first name? You've just met here! »

« Then again, » said another voice, « If he called her by her last name, you'd know immediately that wouldn't be him! If Naruto's not rude, then it's just not Naruto! »

« You're so mean, Tenten, Ino! At least Hinata-chan would never be mean to me, right, Hinata-chan? »replied Naruto as he went to hug Hinata. « Uh? Hinata-chan, are you all right? You're all red! »

Tenten slapped her forehead «Naruto, you really have no idea, do you? »

« What do you mean, Panda-face! » said Naruto, and promptly got slapped by Tenten « Ow! »

« Naruto, Tenten, » yet another voice « quit it. »

« Neji, you're no fun! We were just having fun, right, Tenten? »

« Yeah, just having fun, Neji-chan! »

« Don't call me that! » snapped Neji

Sakura sweat dropped.

« Don't mind them, they're always like that! Anyway, I'm Yamanaka Ino! Nice to meet you! »said the blonde

« Haruno Sakura! Pleased to meet you, Yama… »

« No, no, no! Call me Ino! »

« Ino, let the new girl call you whatever she likes… » drawled the lazy looking boy who was lying next to Ino and watching clouds.

« Shika-kun, you moron! Would you like it if she called you Nara? »

« Um… I really don't mind calling Ino by her first name! » Sakura said before the bickering got bloody… Or worse… She then saw Naruto dragging a shy looking girl towards her.

« Come on, Hinata-chan! I'll introduce you to Sakura-chan! I'm sure you two will get along! You'll see! You'll be best friends! »

« O...Okay, N...Naruto-kun… » said the shy girl who Naruto called Hinata-chan. « Um, I…I'm Hyuuga Hinata. I'm pleased to make your acquaintance, Haruno-san. »

« Um… Please call me Sakura. May I call you Hinata? »

« Of course she doesn't mind, right, Hinata-chan? »

« Naruto, let Hinata make her mind up! »said a boy with a cute white puppy

« Whatever, Kiba-chan! »

« Don't talk to me as if I'm a girl! » That brunette seemed nearly ,if not just, as rude as the blonde boy. He even had tattoos on his cheeks! Weren't there rules against stuff like that at school?

« K...Kiba-kun! Naruto-kun! P…Please don't fight! I r...really don't mind! » Hinata intervened before they disembowelled each other. Not exactly what they'd like to see before lunch.

Sasuke was on his way to the roof. He was late because he noticed he forgot his bento. That was stupid. He then had to walk down to the canteen to buy a lunch. He had the choice between a rather disgusting looking salad, udon, a pizza and a hamburger. He chose the udon, not being in the mood for occidental food. He was about to reach out for the doorknob but he was stopped by a teacher.

« What are you doing, Kakashi? I'd like to go eat! »

« Oh, nothing. I just wanted to tell you that your parents called to tell me to tell you that they told me to tell you that they were busy this weekend and won't be able to visit. » Kakashi answered innocently, as if he wasn't in the way of Sasuke eating.

« You didn't have to tell me. I would have known that eventually, » replied Sasuke « Is that all you wanted to tell me? »

Kakashi took an exaggerative pose, pretending to be thinking very hard « Maybe, but I can't remember! » He then turned around and walked down the stairs, « Don't keep everything for you, Sasuke, it'll be very unhealthy for you, sooner or later… »

As soon as he couldn't see the walking talking scarecrow anymore, Sasuke opened the door to the rooftop and walked towards the group, where Naruto seemed to be imitating a dying walrus...Unless…Was he…Singing?

Sasuke fought the urge to turn around and run far, far away… Maybe even swim to Australia…

Naruto just couldn't sing, but ever since he discovered that French TV reality show - how Naruto discovered it remains a mystery - he kept claiming that he would go to France and show the rest of the world that the future Hokage could become the next celebrity from Star Academy (1). Sasuke remembered quite vividly when Naruto forced him to watch that show… The horror…

« Ah! Sasuke-kun! You're finally here! Where were you? »

« Ino, please let him sit down before badgering him! »

« Thanks, Shikamaru, »Sasuke sat down and turned towards Ino « I forgot my lunch so I had to buy one at the canteen… »

« What? Sasuke-chicken butt forgot his lunch? The end is near! »

« Shut up, dog-breath.»

« But still, Kiba's right, you've never forgotten your lunch before » said Tenten

« Excuse me, senpai, for not being perfect… » Sasuke replied sarcastically

« Watch your tone, Uchiha. »

« Forgive me, Hyuuga, for not talking to your girlfriend properly… »drawled Sasuke, smirking

« Oh, for…! He is not my boyfriend! I am not his girlfriend! I'm his best friend! Is it that hard to understand that a boy and a girl can be friends and never go out together! »

Tenten was answered with silence…

« You guys are impossible! I give up! Ino! You should know! You're friends with Shikamaru, but you're not dating him, are you! »she yelled, pointing at Ino and Shikamaru

« Well, yeah, »started Ino « You are right...But you and Neji are really close, even for best friends… »

« Mark my words: I will never date Neji! »

« Whatever you say, Tenten, whatever you say…By the way, All-Mighty Weapons Mistress, may I borrow your maths exercises? »

Tenten sighed, shifting her attention from Ino to Naruto, who was bowing really low.

« Naruto, we aren't even in the same year! »

« Oh…Yeah… »said Naruto, blinking and turning around. He then stopped, and stared at Hinata, not even blinking. Hinata was happy because Naruto's full attention was on her, but was also slightly freaked out...Wouldn't you be freaked out if someone was staring at you without even blinking once?

« N…Naruto-kun? »

« Hinata! First year's classes 7 and 8 have the same maths teacher, right? »

« Um…Y…Yes? »

« And he does exactly the same lessons and gives the same exercises to do, right? »

« Y…Yes? »

« Could you please, please, please lend me your exercises? Please? »

« W…Which? »

« Thank you Hinata! You're the best! So, exercise 45, 46 and 48 page 153! Equations, in equations or whatever! » (2)

« R…Right, I'll go get them! »

« I'll come with you! »

Everybody watched as Hinata and Naruto disappeared down the stairway, Naruto gallantly opening the door for Hinata and letting her pass first.

Sakura blinked « What just…happened »

Kiba was the first one to recover « Ah! That moron! I won't lose to him! Hinata deserves someone better than him! » he yelled, waving his rams around, nearly hitting Neji

« Someone like you, I suppose.. » said Neji, pissed that Kiba nearly hit him

« Um, well… Maybe...Kind of…Something like that… »

« Forget it, Kiba! There's no way Neji'll let you date his cousin! » said Tenten

« Cousin! » repeated Sakura

« Yeah, cousin… Neji's father and Hinata's father were twins, so that makes them cousins, »explained Tenten « Although I'd really not be surprised if they were to announce they were siblings. Everybody in the Hyuuga clan looks alike. It's kind of freaky the first time you see them, but you get used to it… Sooner or later…Kiba here still isn't, he even mistook Hanabi for Hinata! »

« Hanabi? »

« Hinata's sister… »

« Say, Sakura, you haven't told us anything about yourself yet and I'm sure we're all kind of curious about you! » said Kiba, and then got promptly hit by Tenten

« Idiot! If Sakura doesn't want to talk about herself, she might not want to answer your question! »

« I really don't mind! Well, I'm Haruno Sakura, I come from Osaka but I used to live in Okinawa, I can't remember where though. I really like plums! My hobbies are solving riddles, puzzles and making dolls! So far, I've made 7 dolls! »

« Osaka? How come you don't have an accent? »

Before any other questions could be asked, the bell rang. A few seconds later, Naruto and Hinata reappeared.

« Damn, just when we arrive, we've got to go back downstairs! What did we miss? »

« Well, Sakura told us some things about herself… »

« What? I missed that! »

« Shut up Naruto, let's go back downstairs, »said Sasuke « I doubt Anko-sensei would like it if we arrive late… »

« See you guys at recess! »said Tenten

« Your classroom today? »asked Shikamaru

« Yeah! Let's go, Neji! »

« We've got to go! Chemistry, right, Shikamaru? »

« Yeah…See you… »Shikamaru said before disappearing with Ino

« I'll race you to calls 1, dog boy! »exclaimed Naruto, running down the stairs

« Hey! That's cheating! And don't call me that! »echoed Kiba's voice while he was running after Naruto, trying to catch up with him

« I…I guess we'll go together then, Sasuke, Sakura .»

« Yup! »chirped Sakura, walking down with Hinata

Sasuke stared after Sakura a bit before closing the door behind him and walking down to his classroom.

(1) Star Academy: I know, kinda dumb adding a French show… Anyway, Star Academy is all about 12 people ,I think, grils and boys, living in a castle and being trained to be popstars. Only one can win and, from what I've heard, only girls have won since the beginning, about 3,4 years ago. I watched it only once and found it dumb…

(2)exercises 45,46 and 49 page 153!Equations, in equations or whatever: I don't really know how a Japanese school's lesson goes so I used what I did and took a few exercises I already « did » from my maths book…

OMAKE: How Naruto discovered Star Academy or how Sasuke's nightmare begins!

It was a dark and stormy night, but Naruto decided to be insane: he walked out to a video rental club.

« Welcome to Konoha's video rental club, where you find every single video cassette and DVD you want… »said the salesman rather unenthusiastically

Naruto browsed through the alleys, not really knowing what he wanted.

He must have been browsing for about 10 minutes until he felt some weird feeling, sensation or whatever…

He turned to where the weird feeling was coming from and saw a rather old looking cassette.

The more Naruto looked at it, the more he felt intrigued so he decided to borrow it.

On his way home, he felt a chill running up and down his spine. It was as if someone was there, in the shadows, watching his every move and waiting to slit his throat open…Or maybe it was just the wind.

As soon as naruto ran into his appartement, he slammed the door and locked it, placing a desk and a chair to block it.

He then rushed to the television, turning it on and nearly jamming the cassette up the VCR.

Naruto paused for a moment, listening…

He only heard the wind outside.

He grabbed the VCR remote control and finally pressed « play » and…

« Bienvenue à la Star Ac'! Cette semaine, nous découvrirons qui de Jean-Pierre, Jean-Jacques ou Jean-Paul partira! N'oubliez pas! A la fin de l'émission, vous voterez pour celui qui mérite de rester! Envoyez par SMS au 62005 1pour Jean-Pierre, 2 pour Jean-Jacques et 3 pour Jean-Paul! »

Naruto didn't understand a single thing the presentation said. « What language is this? I've never heard it…Hm…I think it's…Polish! »

Poor Naruto had no idea he had been exposed to the worst French entertainement program ever…Well..With Loft Story…

« Aujourd'hui; Jean-Pierre, Jean-Jacques et Jean-Paul vont, chacun leur tour, interpréter « La Musique ». Comme, la semaine dernière, Jean-Jacques était à la tête du sondage, il peut commencer! »

The guy named Jean-Jacques stepped forward.

He looked...Normal…Normal face, normal clothes…Just normal-normal…

He then breathed in before starting to sing…

« La musique, oui, la musique… »

Naruto had really no idea what the guy was singin but he decided he liked it.

« La musique sera la clé de l'amour, de l'amitié… »

Soon after that, Jean-Pierre and Jean-Paul sung…

Nothing much to say here, except that Jean-Pierre, Jean-Jacques and Jean-Paul looked alike...Like they were triplets or something…

« This is most definitely the coolest thing ever! I have to call Sasuke! »

Naruto ran to his phone and dialled Sasuke's number only to find that Sasuke, being Sasuke, was an anti-social bastard and wasn't picking up.

« I'm not there for the moment or I just don't want to talk to you. Naruto, stop calling me. Ino, I do not want to go out with you. Please leave a message after the beep if you haven't been mentioned earlier…BEEP »

« Sasuke! I know you're there! Anyway, I rented a cassette earlier on and it's the coolest Swedish - at least, I think it's Danish - show ever! It's called « Sutaa Akademi » or something like that… Anyway, it's about singing, I think! I heard the coolest song ever! Listen! « Ra mujiku, ui, ra mujiku! Ra mujiku sera ra kura, do ramuru, do ramiche! » Awesome, don't you think? » trying his best to sing French despite his heavy Japanese accent « Anyway, just to tell you, I've decided to buy it and you'll receive it in a few days! See ya! Bye! »

Naruto hung up and rushed back to the TV to watch Star Academy again…

Someplace else, Sasuke decided to check if he had any new messages.

« You have one new message. » said the monotone voice

« Sasuke! I know you're there! » Damn, he still left him a message even though he was told quite clearly not to… « Listen! » Oh god, now sasuke was scared « Ra music, ui, ra mujiku » Did the moron call that singing? It was as bad as Kiba… « You'll receive the cassette in a few days! See ya! Bye! »

What did he send him now…

A few days later, Itachi dumped a packet on his bed.

« Foolish little brother, this arrived for you. If there are anymore sweets from your admirers, hand them over to me this time, instead of throwing perfectly good candy away! »

As soon as Itachi exited his room, sasuke turned round to face a package.

« Judging by the quality of the wrapping, it's Naruto… »

Sasuke wripped open the bow and found a sheet of paper and a cassette. He read out loud what the so-called letter said.

« Bastard! You haven't even answered my calls! Anyway, here's the cassette I promised! Have fun! Naruto »

Sasuke took the cassette and placed it in the VCR, then turned the Tv on and pressed « play »…

« Bienvenue à la Star Ac'! »

…Damn…

THE END!


End file.
